Tuesday, December 18, 2007


I love to write.

There is so much in my mind that I want to come out, that I want to put on paper.

But sitting down and taking the time to write has been hard.

If I put it down on paper, (computer) it is permanent.

I have not written in the past few months because what I have had in my mind has been dark, depressing, not how I want to be seen.

Today, for the first time in months, I woke up and felt like the sun was shining. My heart felt light, the heaviness I have had has been lifted.

Back pain is almost gone, I have gone back to work, I have found horses to be near.

Horses. There is only one smell like them. It is a smell that I would recognise even if I did not see the horses. Pungent, not sour, smells like the outside, smells to me like work, happiness, satifaction. I love the smell of horses

Horses. I love it when they stick their heads out over the stall and sniff you with their noses close to your head. Softly stroking the side of their silky smooth head, itching up behind the ears. They rub back, pushing with their noses for more. Nibbling with their mouths, tasting your skin or clothing. Inquisitive, checking you out.

Horses. The way they move. So graceful, so smooth. Such large animals, controlled simply with a small bit and a pair of reins.

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